Remembering Maya
by yv1029
Summary: Maya's been gone too long and things aren't the same. Can the gang bring back to old Maya or is she gone for good? SEQUEL TO LETTERS TO MAYA
1. Hello New York

Maya took a deep breath and got off the plane. She looked around the terminal and remembered how she felt when she left four years ago. It hurt but she knew it was for the best. LA had been great but New York had always been home. No one knew that she had come. Sure she sent a letter months ago saying she was going to come back but she didn't really have the courage to do it until now. She squeezed her eyes shut and took another deep breath. A hand grabbed her own.

"Ready?" They asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Maya said. "It's time."


	2. Hello Topanga's

Maya bit her nails in nervousness as she stood in front of Topanga's. It had been a while since she came back here. Too many painful memories. Too many beautiful memories that made it painful to be apart so long. But it was the best thing to do. At the time. She held her hand tighter and walked.

The chime at the top of the door jingled, signaling someone had walked. Riley looked up from the cappuccino she was preparing and dropped the mug to the floor. Farkle, sitting at the counter doing work, looked up to see what she had seen.

"Peaches," Riley said.

"Maya," Farkle said.

"Hello," Maya said softly.

Farkle cleared his throat. "I can't believe you're here, but um, who's that?"

Maya held up the hand she held. "My daughter."


	3. Hello Explanations

"Y-your daughter?" Farkle choked out. Apparently he was the only one with his priorities straight. Riley went straight for the hug.

"Peaches!" Riley said hugging Maya. "It's been forever! And who's this little cutie?"

She went to hug the little girl, who hid behind her mother's legs.

"Sorry, Riles. She's a little shy." Maya laughed. She frowned when she noticed that Farkle was holding back. "Sup Minkus. Are you not going to talk to me?"

"Well-"

"Where is she?" Zay stormed into Topanga's, followed by Smackle and Lucas. "We came as soon as we heard. The kids are with Mathews." They pulled Maya into a group hug. Farkle took it as an opportunity to slip out, without being seen. But someone saw him.

"Mommy, why did Mr Farkle leave?" The little girl asked her mother.

Maya pulled away from her friends to see that Farkle indeed had left. "I guess not everyone is glad I'm back."

"Just give him time," Riley said assuringly. "In the meantime you can explain who this little gumdrop is!"

"Yeah who is she?"Lucas asked.

Maya took a deep breath. "Well Riley already knows that this little girl is my daughter. Her name is Hope. And she's almost 4 years old."

"4 years old?" Shackle asked.

"So does that mean-" Lucas asked.

"That, that she's-" Zay said.

"Peaches, she's the reason you left, isn't she?" Riley asked.


	4. Hello Awkwardness

"Maya, answer me!" Riley said. "Is Hope the reason you left?"

"Yes!yes! Ok?" Maya said. "But look Riles, I can't really talk about it now. Can we talk somewhere more private, please?"

"Oh so we're not allowed to know?" Zay quipped. Smackle elbowed him.

"Excuse him," Smackle apologized. "It's just so much has happened since you left and we just want to know what happened."

Maya sighed. She knew this would happen. "Yeah I know. And I'm so sorry guys. I just had to leave. And it's a long story. But today I'm jet lagged and hungry. So I'm going to my hotel and we can meet here tomorrow."

"Wait, Peaches, you don't have a place to stay?" Riley asked.

"Well Shawn and my mom are traveling in Europe so no, not really." Maya replied.

"I insist you stay with Lucas and I!" Riley said.

"Riley, honey, I would love for Maya to stay with us," Lucas said. "But with us remodeling the nursery, and us only having two bedrooms, there's no space."

"I would say you could stay with us," Smackle said."But Zay's parents are staying with us while their house is being fumigated."

Maya chuckled. "It's no problem guys. I knew you'd all be busy so I'm going to a hotel."

"Why don't you stay with Farkle?" Riley said. "He's got this giant penthouse with a view of the city. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you stay with him."

"Really Riles? I don't think he wants to talk to me at the moment," Maya said.

"It wouldn't hurt to try," Riley insisted.

"Riley I said no."

Riley pulled out her phone and dialed Farkle's number. "Hey Farkle-"

"Riley no!" Maya began to chase Riley around Topanga's.

"- I was wondering if Maya could stay at your place. She has no where to stay and I don't want her to go through the hassle of finding a hotel." Riley said, ignoring Maya's hissing. "Ok great. You're awesome. Yeah we'll be there in 20."

Maya gave up and plopped onto the couch. "I know you don't want to see him right now, but he's all we got," Lucas said.

"You know what happened?" Maya glared.

Lucas gulped. "Well, n-no, but I do know you guys had a falling out. "

"Oh."

"Look Maya, New York is a dangerous place," Riley said. "I would sleep a lot sounder if I know you're safe Peaches. Please stay with Farkle. If not for me, for your daughter."

Maya looked at the blonde 4 year old that looked up to her. Hope was her whole world. "Fine."


	5. Hello Farkle

Maya rode in silence in the subway, holding Hope's hand. It had been a while since she rode it. As simple as it was, riding the subway was honestly comforting, reminding her of a simpler time, pre Hope, not that she didn't live Hope with all her being, even if she did come about in an unconventional way.

Maya tried to block out the memories. She still has nightmares about that day.

"This is it," Maya said, more to herself than Hope. "All I have to do is knock."

"Mommy, where are we?" The curios four year old asked.

"We're at an old friend's house," Maya replied. She took a deep breath and was just about to knock when the door suddenly opened. But surprisingly to Maya, it was not Farkle who opened it.

"Oh I'm sorry," the mysterious lady said." Oh you must be Maya. Farkle has been expecting you."

"And who are you?" Maya asked warily.

The woman laughed. "My name is Sage. Well I should be going now. Goodbye."

Maya waved her off and carefully opened the door. She walked into Farkle's large penthouse apartment. It was smaller than she expected, but she guessed that since Farkle lived alone, it wouldn't be too big.

She found Farkle in the kitchen, his back turned to her, preparing something. Maya sheepishly walked behind him and cleared her throat. Farkle turned around and didn't even smile, returning to what he was doing.

"How are you Maya?" He asked passively.

"I'm fine," she replied.

"That's good," he said. He walked over with a pan and poured pasta into three bowls. "Hungry? I made spaghetti. You want some cutie?" He asked Hope.

"My name is Hope," she said. "And yes pwease!"

"Hope is it?" Farkle said, looking pointedly.

"Where's your bathroom? Hope needs to wash her hands." Maya said.

"First door to left."

"I can hobby myself mommy!" Hope said.

"Ok run along," Maya said. She turned to Farkle. "Can we talk?"

Farkle turned away and began setting the table so they could eat.

"Really you're ignoring me?"

"Well if you don't like that, then I could move across the country, come back on four years with no explanation whatsoever," Farkle snapped.

"Farkle, its complicated. " Maya said.

"Oh really?" Farkle hissed.

Hope came out. "We'll talk about this later," Maya said.

There meal was very quiet, they tension between Farkle and Maya unbearable for both. After they ate, Maya put Hope to bed. She placed her gently in the bed of the spare room that Farkle had and kissed her forehead. She stepped outside in the living room to talk to Farkle, but saw that he wasn't there. She saw a light on at the end of the hall. She knocked and after receiving no answer, carefully walked in.

It was Farkle's study. He was at his desk, finishing up some paper work that he had to turn in on Monday. Even though it Friday night and the end of the week, it was never to early to finish up his work.

"Can I help you?" Farkle rudely asked.

"Farkle we need to talk!"

"There's absolutely nothing to talk about."

"Yes there is!"

"Like what?"

"Well for starters, you're completely ignoring me!"

Farkle dropped his paper work in his desk and started pacing the room. "Well, how do you expect me to exactly start up a conversation? Maya, you left. And I'm the reason you left."

Maya bit her lip. " Well, that's not exactly true. At least it's not the full story."


	6. Hello Past

"What?" Farkle asked, eyebrow raised. "Oh let me guess. You left four years ago because I told you I loved you and you couldn't handle that. So you leave to California find some other guy and have a daughter? That has to be it, right?"

Maya sighed. "That's not it, Farkle. If you would just let me explain-"

"New Year's Eve. Maya, is she mine?"

"No. I was pregnant before I slept with you!" Maya blurted out. She immediately covered her mouth with her hand, but it was too late. Farkle had heard her.

"What?!"

Maya furiously wiped at the tears that were spilling from her eyes. "This was a mistake. I thought I could do this, but I can't." She walked out of Farkle's study into living room. She started putting on her jacket and gathering her stuff. She was about to enter the guest bedroom to wake up Hope when Farkle stopped her.

"Maya where do you think you're going?"

"I don't know, just away."

Farkle grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him and Maya collapsed, crying into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into the living room to not wake up Hope. He sat them on the couch, and let Maya continue to sob, staining his shirt.

He traced circles on her back, something he used to do when they were teenagers and Maya would sneak over to his house, crying and talk to him about how much of a jerk her high school boyfriend was. Farkle remembered that was when he started to like Maya as more than a friend. Still he was with Smackle and Maya was with Brandon.

But that all changed when they graduated and Brandon broke up with Maya. Maya was never completely the same, but her friendship with Farkle grew throughout college. They would have Saturday morning coffee talks. And Maya would take him hiking or to yoga. Farkle encouraged her to enter some of her artwork to local museums or festivals and she did. Maya would stay up late with Farkle when he was studying for exams wanting to finish college two years earlier. And Farkle would help Maya with every interview she had to do. Yet Maya would always feel like the odd one out when Riley had Lucas, Zay had Vanessa, and Farkle had Smackle.

Then that fateful New Year's Eve Smackle and Farkle talked about their relationship and how it was going nowhere and it was the same since they were high school. Farkle still remembered that day

Flashback

It was the annual New Year's party at the Matthews household. Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were in Philadelphia celebrating with their parents and Auggie and allowed Riley to host a party at their apartment inviting her best friends and some people from college. Someone somehow snuck in liquor and spiked the punch. Riley being naïve, drank five cups of punch.

Farkle sat in the corner watching in amusement as a very drunk Riley was dancing on top of the kitchen counter and Lucas was trying to get her off, to no avail, before she busted her head open. Zay and Smackle were talking on the couch, more like arguing about whatever it was they were arguing about this time. Farkle had started to notice that whatever they are having their "debates" Smackle always had a sparkle in her eyes. Something she didn't have with him.

Farkle couldn't take it anymore. He went up to her. "Smackle can we talk?"

Smackle looked up from her conversation with Zay. "Sure."

They went up to the roof. It was cold and Farkle wasn't sure how he was going to tell Smackle exactly how he felt. Turns out he didn't have to.

"Farkle I think we should break up." Smackle blurted out.

"Really?"

"You're not upset," Smackle said as more of a statement than a question.

"Surprisingly, no. You?"

"Not at all," Smackle replied honestly. "And I think I know why. And I think you know too."

"You like Zay."

"How could this be?" Smackle said, pacing. "He's immature, lazy and an athlete. He doesn't think things through and acts on impulse. He's everything I am not and yet somehow I'm attracted to him. Somehow he has wiggled himself into my heart and made me feel things!"

Farkle chuckled. He liked how even though Smackle was a genius, she still didn't understand feelings, especially her own.

"Exactly. Classic opposites attract. You need him to balance you out."

"Just like you need Maya to balance you out?"

Farley scoffed and Smackle rolled her eyes. "Me like Maya? That's crazy."

Smackle sighed. "Farkle you don't have to lie to me. It's not going to hurt me if you do like Maya. Our relationship was good while it lasted, but we're just too similar. It was a great experiment. Thank you." With that she left back to the party.

End of Flashback

After that talk, Maya went up to rooftop to find some alone time but found Farkle instead. They talked about his breakup and next thing they knew, Farkle kissed her and they were sloppily trying to find their way to a room. Needles to say, that night was very memorable.

After a while, Maya's sobs quieted down and she just sat there shaking. Farkle tightened his grip on her and pulled her closer. Realizing their position, Maya pulled away and stood up.

"I really should get going. It was a mistake to come. I thought I could do this, but I can't."

"Maya," Farkle pleaded. He grabbed her hands. "Please tell me what happened. Help me understand why you left ."

Maya took a deep breath and sat back down."Just know this ain't easy... Do you remember the Halloween party we went to after my breakup with Brandon?"

"Yeah."

Maya started tearing up. "On my way back home I was alone and some guy came up behind me and..."

Farkle got worried. "And what, Maya? What did he do?"

May was crying at this point. "He raped me. I didn't find out I was pregnant until after New Years. Thought it was you but by then it had been 2 months. So I did the only logical thing I could think of. I left. But the thing is that I was pregnant with twins."

"But you only have Hope."

"I know. Her brother died in childbirth and she almost didn't make it. Apparently I'm infertile and it's a miracle I got pregnant in the first place," Maya explained. She bit her lip to try to stop her sobs. "After Hope they deemed me officially unable to have children. Hope had to stay in the hospital the first year of her life because she was too fragile and sick to go home."

"Maya... why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you through everything." Farkle said, crying as well.

"I was humiliated. My virginity had been taken from me and then I lose a child, with the other one fighting for her life. I had no idea how to even approach you guys."

"When I tried to talk to you about New Years, that was the last straw wasn't it?"

"Yeah. You said you loved me but I wasn't worth your love," Maya said softly. "It was better I left."

"Maya how could you say that? My love for you is stronger than that!"

"What do you mean 'is'?"

"I'm still in love with you Maya!" Farkle confessed. "Why do you think I've been writing and waiting for you?"

"How can you say you love me when you're with another?" Maya said.

"I don't know!" Farkle said getting up and pulling his hair. "Sage and I are engaged. But only because I was determined you were never coming back and that you hated me."

He sat back down and took Maya's hands in his. "But now that I know everything, everything is so different now."

"Stop Farkle," Maya said, removing her hands. She stood up and looked away from him. "I don't love you like you want me to. After everything, I find it hard to get close to people. Probably why I've been single since that fateful night. New Years was a mistake. We were both hurt and vulnerable. And now you're getting married to a great girl. So I think we should leave things as they are. Good night."

She walked away into the guest bedroom, her piercing blue eyes the last thing Farkle saw before she closed the door.

He sat back down on the couch, grabbing a pillow and clutching it as if his life depended on it, knuckles turning white. He couldn't believe everything Maya had just confessed to him. He wanted to beat the bastard that had done this to her. Seeing her broken all over again pained him. But saying she doesn't love him like he loves her and that New Years was a mistake, that was the most painful thing of all.


	7. Hello Confrontations

Maya awoke pretty early, not having been able to sleep the night before. She looked for her phone and saw it on the nightstand. She picked it up and checked the time, semi blinded by the brightness. She groaned at it only being 6 am. She was tired but still couldn't fall asleep. She figured she might as well get up.

Maya made her way to the guest bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and frowned. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying all night and her cheeks were tear stained. Not to mention the bags and dark circles under her eyes due to her lack of sleep due to the nightmares. Maya shivered. The best part of not sleeping was that there were no nightmares.

She washed her face and put on some concealer to avoid further questioning and quietly tiptoed back into the guest room to gather her stuff and leave. She had to go anywhere but here.

She grabbed her phone to call a cab and silently cursed that she had forgotten to charge it and it had died. Then she remembered that there was a payphone in the lobby of the apartment building. She quickly rummaged through her bag for change and quietly walked into the hall. She carefully tiptoed to the door, hoping she wouldn't wake up Farkle.

She let out a sigh of relief as she was almost at the door-

"Where do you think you're going?" Farkle asked.

Maya let out a shriek, but immediately covered her mouth.

"Farkle what are you doing here?"

"I live here," Farkle replied cheekily. He stood behind the kitchen counter. He took a sip of his coffee, chuckling.

Maya rolled her eyes and groaned. " I meant what are you doing up?"

"I could say the same thing."

May frowned again. "You know what? I don't have time for this!" She tried to make a dramatic exit, but failed miserably, seeing as the door was locked.

She groaned again and Farkle took the opportunity to run to the door and block her.

"And where do you think you're going?" He asked, blocking the door. Maya glared at him and tried to move around him and push him off the door. It was to no avail, Farkle wouldn't budge.

"What the heck, Farkle?" Maya huffed. "You're as solid as a rock."

"Four years is a long time, Maya," Farkle said seriously. "People change."

"Yeah no kidding," Maya quipped, starting to sense some awkwardness.

"But some things never change," Farkle said, a hint of laughter in his voice. "You're still a short stack of pancakes."

Maya had had enough. She pushed him away with all her might and Farkle stumbled, not expecting her sudden burst of strength. But he quickly recovered, immediately covering the doorframe.

"Farkle move!" Maya hissed.

"Not until you tell me where you're going."

"To the payphone. Mines dead and I'm gonna call a cab."

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Cuz I didn't want you to find out!"

"How's that working for you?"

"Farkle!"

"Maya!"

Maya stared into Farkle's blue eyes. She hadn't noticed how close they had gotten. She could smell the coffee in his breath and the closeness was unnerving.

"Ugh!" She yelled, turning her back to him and sitting on the couch. She laid her head in her hands to avoid crying. Farkle realized he had really upset her. He closed the door behind him and locked it again. He grabbed a mug of tea on the counter and offered it to Maya. He knew she hated coffee and would only drink tea. He remembered the first time they had gone to the coffee house and she refused to drink the cappuccino he had bought her.

Flashback

"Farkle, stop dragging me around," Maya complained. "I feel like a rag doll!"

Farkle laughed. "I'm just so excited I found this place. It serves great food.

Maya pouted. "What about Topangas? Have you replaced our charming little bakery?"

Farkle chuckled. "I could never. But last time I walked you home I found this quaint little coffee shop that seriously serves some of the best cappuccinos."

"But Farkle-" Maya argued.

"Come on. You'll love it," Farkle said, pulling her into a small building.

The coffee shop was small, but very cozy. Maya had to admit it was nice. There weren't many customers around and a red headed girl stood behind the counter.

"You go find a table and I'll get us some drinks," Farkle said, going up to the counter.

Maya sighed, not knowing what he was going to get her. She found a booth secluded from the rest of the place. There was a window right next to it where she could see the world, but the world couldn't see her.

Surprisingly Farkle found her and placed two piping hot cappuccinos on the table.

"You're gonna love this," he smiled.

Maya pushed the drink away. "No thank you."

"Aw come on Maya, don't be a sourpuss," Farkle's said, pushing the drink to her.

Maya again pushed it away."I don't like coffee." She stated flatly.

"Then what do you want?" Farkle asked.

Maya smiled like a child. "Normally I prefer to drink tea, but could you get me a hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream?"

End of flashback

"Here," Farkle said. "This will calm you down."

"Thanks," Maya smiled gratefully. "Look, all I want to do is call Riley to come pick me up. I don't want to be a hassle to you and your lady friend. I'll stay with Riley until I find an apartment and a job."

"Wait, you're moving back to New York?" Farkle's asked, smiling.

Maya smiled. Farkle thought it was the first time he had seen her actually smile since she had arrived in New York.

"Yeah."

"That's great Maya!" Farkle hugged her and she immediately pulled away. "Oh- I'm sorry!"

"It's fine," Maya said, looking at the floor. "Can I use your phone to call Riley."

"Maya don't do this," Farkle pleaded. "You're not a burden. Is live to have you and Hope stay with me as long as you need. And don't worry about Safe. She'll understand."

"Are you sure?" Maya asked.

"I've never been so sure for anything in my life," Farkle smiled.

Maya smiled too. "Well then maybe I should try to feet some sleep."

"Yeah I have to go to work," Farkle said.

They stayed like that for a while. Just staring at each other. May role eye contact first, starting to feel sleepy.

"You should go," she said awkwardly.

"Yeah I should," Farkle said, scratching the back of his neck. He grabbed his jacket and briefcase from a chair and headed out. "Goodbye Maya."

Farkle closed the door behind him and Maya let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Bye Farkle," she sighed.

Unbeknownst to her, a certain blonde haired four-year old saw the whole exchange.


	8. Hello Kids

The bright sun shined through the window. Maya woke up to see she had fallen asleep on the couch. She tried to get up bit felt a weight on her chest. She saw a head of blonde hair and immediately knew it was Hope.

She gently shook Hope to wake her up. She started to stir and opened up her bright blue eyes and yawned.

"Morning Mommy!"

"Morning sunshine," Maya smiled. She looked at the clock above the door and sighed that she had slept all morning. It was almost noon.

Suddenly the doorknob started to wiggle. Maya became startled, but before she could react, the door opened. To her relief it was just Farkle.

"Oh it's just you," Maya sighed in relief.

"Wow, what a great thing to come home to," Farkle stated sarcastically.

Maya rolled her eyes. "You're such a child. I was afraid someone was trying to get in."

Farkle smiled. "Well, it's just me coming back home for lunch. But by the looks of it, you girls are just waking up."

"Morning Mr Farkle!" Hope said quietly. She went up to give him a hug. She seemed scared at first but ultimately went for it. "Thank you for letting us stay here."

Farkle smiled at the small child hugging him. He felt a warmth in his heart he hadn't felt in a long time. He kneeled down to her level and hugged her back.

"You can call me Farkle, no need to be fancy. Okay Hope?"

"Ok."

"Atta girl," Farkle smiled and patted her back.

"Hope Honey why don't you go brush your teeth?" Maya said, distractedly.

"Ok mommy!" The four year old bounded for the bathroom.

"Ok Farkle, what the hell was _that_?" Maya asked.

Farkle avoided her stare. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Maya scoffed. "Yes you do, ever since I have known you, you've hated kids."

"That's not true!" Farkle defended.

"Oh really?" Maya smirked. "Summer 2017 ring a bell?"

"Oh..."

"Yeah. Oh..."

 _*Flashback*_

 _"Come on guys it'll be fun" Riley pleaded._

 _"Riley for the last time, no!" Maya argued._

 _"Come on, it's not going to be hard, Maya," Lucas said._

 _"I'm with Maya on this," Farkle said. "I don't want to spend my summer volunteering at the children's center. I don't really like kids."_

 _"And I don't like volunteering," Maya said._

 _"Come on! It'll be fun," Riley insisted._

 _"Farkle what's the likeliness that she'll drop this and move on with her life?" Maya asked._

 _"Well based on past experiences and knowing how Riley is, I'd say impossible," Farkle stated._

 _"Ugh dang it! I knew it." Maya groaned. "Fine I'll do it!"_

 _"Yay!" Riley cheered. "Farkle?"_

 _"I don't th-"_

 _Farkle was interrupted by Maya grabbing his shirt. She pulled him close to her._

 _"If I'm suffering, so are you!" She hissed. Farkle kissed her nose. She let him go. "Wha-why?"_

 _Farkle smirked. "I told you, as were getting older, you should expect those more often. Besides it's the most effective way to have you release me."_

 _"I'm telling Smackle!"_

 _"_ _ **I'm**_ _telling Smacle!"_

 _*End of Flashback*_

 _"_ Hey! It wasn't my fault!" Farkle said. "Those kids attacked me!"

Maya giggled. "Yeah because you were trying to teach them stuff over summer break."

"They were supposed to!"

"Yeah fun stuff, like how a starfish can grow back an arm, not a pop quiz on molecular bonds or whatever!"

"Touché." Farkle said. "Either way I don't hate kids as much as I used to. With Riley and Lucas's kids I've gotten used to Eufrates running around. Not to mention the $16,000.00 vase they broke."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Don't worry. I have like three of them." Farkle smiled.

Maya sat down on the couch and looked around the apartment. "Yeah well it looks like you've been doing great for yourself. Last I heard, Minkus International is doing great and business we're asking for partnerships left and right."

Farkle sighed and sat in his recliner. "I guess you could say that."

"You must be so proud and happy."

"I must be, mustn't I?" Farkle asked.

Maya frowned. "I'm no genius Farkle, but you don't sound too happy."

"Eh well-"

"Look Mama!" Hope said running in. "I brushed my teeth and dressed myself!"

Maya laughed. The child had striped pants, a striped shirt, a tutu, two different shoes, both for the left foot and a tiara.

"Yes. Yes you did." Maya said. "I have to go fix this." She directed at Farkle.

"I have to go back to work," Farkle said.

"But you didn't eat lunch," May said, as Hope ran back into the room.

"I'll pick up something on the way to the office," Farkle replied. Maya smiled and turned on her way to follow hope.

"Oh and Maya,"

Maya turned around to face him.

"I may hate kids, but I love yours," Farkle said, the door closing behind him.


	9. Hello Reunions

"So how's staying with Farkle been?" Riley asked, sipping her drink. She had insisted on taking Maya out on a girls day.

"Not as awful as I thought," Maya said. She looked around the food court. "You know it's been a while since I've been to this mall."

"No changing the subject!" Riley reprimanded. "Seriously how's it been. It's been like a week."

"Things were a little awkward at first not gonna lie. But after a very tense talk, I think we're in a good place." Maya said. "Besides Hope really likes it there."

"Aw cute. I hope Lucas can handle the three kids today." Riley laughed. Maya giggled and soon they were both laughing hysterically.

Riley recovered first. "Hey are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Farkle?"

Maya stopped laughing. "Well um..."

"Maya? Maya Hart?" A voice interrupted.

Maya looked up to see a very well dressed man who looked vaguely familiar.

"Brandon?" Maya said.

"Yeah babe it's me," he winked. "I haven't seen you in so long. How longs it been? 4+ years?"

"Um yeah?" Maya said, somewhat recovering from her shock.

"I can't believe you're in New York again," Brandon smiled. "Last I heard, you packed and disappeared to the other coast."

"Yeah well I'm back," Maya said.

"Hey we should catch up," Brandon said. "Here's my business card, give me a call." He handed Maya a small business card and wrote his personal number on the back.

"So you're a big time lawyer now," Riley said, through clenched teeth. She never liked Brandon, and she wasn't going to start today. "I guess you've changed from the immature frat boy you used to be."

Brandon rolled his eyes. "And you're no longer the obnoxiously smiley naive child you used to be."

"People change," Riley shot back.

Brandon laughed. He looked Maya up and down. "And some people stay the same. I'll be expecting your call Maya." He winked at Maya ad turned on his heel and walked away.

Riley stuck out her tongue. "Can you believe that? As if you're going to call him." Maya just stared at business card in her hand.

"What? No!" Riley ripped it out of her hands. "You are not thinking of actually calling him?"

"I don't know Riles.."

"Maya!"

"What?"

"He broke your heart!"

"So have other people, but I forgave them!"

"What?" Riley asked. Maya bit her lip. She had said too much. "Maya, what do you mean..."

"Nothing!" Maya got up and started collecting her stuff. She grabbed the business card out of Riley's hand. She started walking away.

"Maya, did Farkle break your heart?" Riley asked. Maya stopped in her tracks. She held back tears but didn't dare turn around. Riley got up to follow her,but Maya began walking faster. Soon enough, Maya got lost in the crowd.

Riley sighed and sat on a nearby bench. "What are you hiding Maya?"


	10. Hello Confessions

"Brandon? As in low life jerk who broke your heart Brandon?" Farkle asked, half chewed food in his mouth. "Why would you even talk to him after what he did?"

"Farkle, seriously I don't know," Maya sighed. "He showed up out nowhere while I was out shopping with Riley."

"Who's Brandon?" Hope asked, innocently.

"Um," Maya said.

"He's someone who your mom used to know," Farkle explained.

"And he broke your heart mommy?" Hope asked.

"Well..."

"Kind of," Farkle said.

"Oh ok," Hope replied. "I don't like him if you don't like him mommy."

Maya smiled. "Thanks sweetie. Now if you're done with your dinner go wash you hands and brush your teeth."

"Ok mommy!" Hope hopped off her chair and ran off to her room.

"Now back to us," Farkle said. "I can't believe that a**hole didn't even have the decency to apologize for what he did."

"Farkle! Language!"

"Sorry.."

"And besides, nothing happened. He just gave me his business card and told me to call him," Maya defended. She started cutting her chicken and the silence made her cutting sound extra loud.

"Don't-don't tell me you're thinking of calling him," Farkle said.

Maya dropped her fork and knife. "Maybe."

"Maya!"

"People change."

"Not turd burgers like him!"

Maya rolled her eyes. "I thought you of all people would understand giving people second chances!" She threw her napkin on her plate and stormed out of the dining room. Farkle sighed and dropped his utensils, suddenly losing his appetite.

Maya finished putting Hope to bed. She gently removed the small child from her and got up, letting Hope fall back on the bed. Maya took the book she had read and placed it on the dresser. She glanced up at herself in the mirror. She could hardly recognize herself. She looked so tired. She sighed. Of course she was tired. Crying yourself to sleep every night for four years can certainly wear you out.

She could still feel his touch. Skin against skin. She shuddered. She felt dirty. Disgusting. Quickly she grabbed her things and rushed to the bathroom, not caring if she had to see Farkle whom she was upset at. She just needed the feeling of his hands over her to go away.

She turned on the water as hot as it would go and started scrubbing. She felt the tears sliding down her face. She stayed in there for who knows how long. Her skin was red and raw. She kept on scrubbing.

"Ow!" She cried. She had nicked her skin with her nail. She looked down and saw a 3 inch scratch on her arm that was bleeding profusely. "Sh*t!"

"Maya?" She heard Farkle through the door. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Now leave me alone!" May yelled.

"Fine, I'll leave," Farkle said, slightly hurt.

Maya stepped out of the bathtub and saw in her rush she had left her clothes in her room. She gently wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door. Farkle stood there, causing her to jump.

"God Farkle! I thought you said you left," Maya said.

"Yeah, well you said you were fine, so I guess we both lied," Farkle replied smug.

"I am fine," Maya lied again.

"Maya you're bleeding!" Farkle said, pointing where Maya had scratched herself.

"See? Perfectly fine," Maya said through tears.

"Maya, you're not fine. You keep telling people that, but you know it's not true," Farkle said soothingly.

Maya slunk to the floor and curled her knees to her chest, or as best she could with a towel on.

"You're right," Maya sobbed. "I'm not fine. I'm never fine and I never will be. But you know why I say I am? For Hope. Because I am a mother now. Because I have a daughter. I have a child who depends on me for everything. I didn't have a choice. I was raped, okay? Sophomore year of college someone attacked me and sexually abused me.!"

"Maya, you don't-"

"Of course I do! Some bastard took everything from me! I had to give up everything. I had to drop out of school. I had to lie to my friends and my parents and everybody. And it's just so gosh it's so hard. Motherhood isn't easy, that much I knew, but it just doesn't get easier. Because every time I look at Hope, I think about that night. I can picture his face. Every night I have these nightmares. It's like it never ends. It's been four years and I'm still reliving the day over and over and over again!"

"Maya-"

"It's so hard. Getting up and going to a job I hated just to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I would work morning shifts, night shifts and graveyard shifts at a diner, like my mom never wanted me to do. Well wupdeedoo! Are you proud now mom?"

"Maya, I'm sure she's proud of you. I'm proud of you," Farkle said.

Maya just stared at him blankly. She swallowed. Her next words were going to change that.

"You know, theres days where I just don't want to wake up. I want to just fall asleep and not wake up again. But I do. I always do. You know, just hoping that's it's all just a bad dream, but then I wake up and reality strikes. And all the fight leaves my body and I don't want to get up. I don't want to go to work or anywhere or do anything. But I do it. I get up and go to a job I hate just for Hope. Because I have a daughter. And I just keep doing it, every day, again and again and again. And I hate it. I hate being a mother. Sometimes I just want to pack my bag and leave and never come back. And I know it's horrible and I hate myself for it, but I can't help how I feel. I'm exhausted and desperate and reaching my limit. And I know I love Hope, I really do, but I know deep in heart I never wanted her."

"And the worst thing. The worst thing is knowing that someday she's going to get older and start to wonder why she doesn't have a dad like the other kids. And it will tear her up inside, I know because I had to live it. But what do I tell her? How do you tell your child that they are the result of rape? That you never wanted them and now have to take care of them. It doesn't make me love her any less. I'm just scared that one day she's going to know the truth and hate me for it or one day I'm going to resent her and I don't want any of that to happen." Maya erupted into more sobs.

Farkle's mouth hung open from Maya's confession. "Have you told anyone else how you feel?"

Maya only shook her head.

Farkle took her hand. "Well then I'm glad you could confide in me." He moved closer to where she was and held her close to him. Maya was dry heaving at this point, exhausted from crying so much.

"Thank you for listening," Maya said weakly.

"Maya I really think you need to talk to a therapist about how you feel," Farkle said.

Maya laughed humorlessly. "With what money? I'm still trying to find a job."

"Don't worry about it," Farkle smiled. "I'll pay for it. I think you need to recover before you move on in your life and I want to be there for you, like old times." He extended his hand out to her.

Maya looked down at his hand and smiled. She took his hand. "Like old times."


	11. Hello Friendship

"What did you want to talk to me about, Farkle?" Smackle asked. "Is this about Maya?"

"Yeah, actually. How'd you know?" Farkle said.

Smackle smiled. "I just know these things. So what is the matter with Maya?"

"Well I asked to meet you here at your office because you are a therapist and I thought you would know someone who could help Maya," Farkle said.

Smackle frowned. "Why can't I just treat her?"

"You're too close to her. She'll have trouble talking to you. It's hard for her to open up." Farkle explained.

Smackle nodded. "True. She's a very closed off person. I think I know just the doctor to help her. But may I suggest she at least airs her grievances with her friends."

"I know you guys want to know what happened.-"

"Hope is not yours, is she?" Smackle said.

"No."

"That's what I thought," Smackle sighed. "But with the timeline is just doesn't make se- oh!"

"Smackle.."

"Oh my gosh."

"Smackle you don't know anything! Please don't jump to conclusions. Maya will tell you when she's ready."

Smackle nodded. "And she told you?"

"Yeah."

"And Riley?"

"No."

Maya was working on Farkle's computer looking for jobs while Hope was eating her breakfast. Farkle had left in a rush that morning saying he had an appointment, meetings all day and then a date with Sage. So it was just Maya and Hope for the day. Maya was looking at local listings for anything. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Maya got up and opened the door, expecting Farkle.

"Peaches we need to talk!" Riley said as she burst through the door, Lucas behind her with their daughter. "Bay window! Bay window right now!"

"But-"

"No buts! Lucas will look after Hope for you," Riley said. She turner to the child. "Hey Hope you want to have another play date with May?"

"Yes! Mommy can I?"

"Yes, of course," Maya said.

Lucas grabbed Hope' s hand. "Let's get out of here and let your mommies duke it out."

"Is mommy gonna explode?" May asked.

"Oh you betcha," Lucas said closing the door behind him.

Riley turned her attention back to Maya. "Why don't we take a walk?"

"What'd you have in mind?"

"Pinker than I remember," Maya said looking around Riley's old bedroom. "And did your bed shrink?"

"No, it's a new bed for May. She stays here when she visits my parents," Riley explained.

"Okay enough chit chat. Riles why did you bring me here?"

"Because. It's the bay window. We've always sat here and talked for hours. Nothing's changed."

"But things have changed Riles. You and Hopalong are married with a baby Riley running around. Smackle and Zay somehow got together and have a baby Babinieux, which if you ask me is shocking in itself. Farkle is engaged and I have a daughter. If that's not change, I don't know what is." Maya ranted.

"But things changed for the better, didn't they?" Riley asked smiling.

Maya frowned and her eyes glazed over with unshed tears.

"Maya, didn't they?" Riley asked, more concerned.

"Riley I don't want to talk about it," Maya said. She curled up and placed her head on her knees, like she had done many times before.

"Maya we always talk," Riley said, close to tears. "It just seems like we can't talk anymore."

"I really don't know what you want me to say," Maya said.

"Maya I just want you to be honest with me," Riley said, crying at this point. "It just feels like you're just keeping secrets and you don't trust me anymore."

"Maybe I can't."

"What?"

"It's not you, it's me."

"Maya-"

"You know I thought I could come back and things would be fine, but they're not," Maya sobbed.

"Maya I really want to help you," Riley said. "Let me help you."

"Riles-"

"Ring power!"

May bit her lip. "I- um I don't have my ring anymore. Remember?"

Riley smiled. "Well I do."

"What?"

Riley reached into her pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. She opened it up to show two small gold rings. "I've kept them all these years."

"And you just carry them around with you?"

"Yeah. I did. Hoping one day you'd return. And you did."

"I did."

"Just not like I thought," Riley said, frowning. She got up from the bay window and sat on May'a twin bed. "Maya the girl that left four years ago is not the same girl that is sitting here now. What happened?"

"A lot, Riley," Maya sighed. "It's complicated. I mean, Farkle said he wants to help me overcome it-"

"Wait! Farkle knows?"

"Yeah well you know New Years-"

"Yeah but you told him everything?"

"Maybe."

"And you couldn't tell me?"

"Honey-"

"Don't call me that!" Riley was upset and got up. "Maya I just want you to let me in. I thought it's too hard to tell. But it was hard just to tell me. You had no problem talking about it to Farkle!"

"Riley that's not fair-"

"No! What's not fair is that my best friend doesn't trust me! Fine don't tell me. I'm done here." Riley grabbed her stuff. "Oh by the way I don't think I'll be needing these anymore." She threw the ring box on the floor and stormed out.

Maya sobbed and sobbed. "What is wrong with me? Why do I always screw everything up?"

Maya's ride on the subway was awful. She tried to call Farkle for the 10th time, hoping he would pick up. She dialed again a and waited.

"Hello?"

"Hey Farkle I need to talk to-"

"Maya can this wait? I'm in the middle of a very important meeting," Farkle whispered.

Maya blinked back tears. "No yeah it's fine. This can wait."

"Oh. Ok,great. Thanks." He hung up.

Maya cried. She opened up her phone case and pulled out a business card and dialed the number on the back.

"Hey, it's Maya. Can we talk?


End file.
